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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065441">It has always been you.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavanyaa/pseuds/Lavanyaa'>Lavanyaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boyfriends, Cuddles, Cute, Feelings, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Love, M/M, Sick Character, Sick Kartik, Tiny Angst, i think, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:54:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavanyaa/pseuds/Lavanyaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aman also knew that Kartik had never been blessed with such a thing, loving parents to take care of you when you fall sick. That had made Kartik independent and he had started to take care of himself, trusting no one with that task. That was, of course, until Aman came along. Kartik trusted Aman so much, it made Aman feel like crying sometimes. It was like he was the only one allowed to see the most vulnerable sides of Kartik, simply because Kartik wanted him to. That only made Aman want to take of Kartik even more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>146</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, hi, it's me again :p </p><p>This little fic is gonna have 5 chapters in total. Each chapter will be around 1k words. <br/>I will update every weekend :) </p><p>Happy reading :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <b>''You are the love </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>that came without warning, </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>You had my heart </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>before I could say no.'' </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>- Unknown Author. </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When Aman had fallen sick in his childhood, he had his whole family pampering him and running after him with medicines and their arms wide open with a tender gaze. Aman had always ran away from them. He had hated the total attention and care they gave him. He still did. Still, he knew that his mother's loving and his father's firm presence had always helped him feel better even if he did not want to admit it. Sometimes, he even missed their tender gazes and soft touches but then he remembered that they only loved him for who they thought he was and not for who he really was and Aman shuts down. He knew that when people fall sick, what helps them the most is a loving presence next to them to take care of them and shower them with kindness and compassion as they healed. Aman had been, kind of, lucky enough to have that. Even after leaving his parents and coming to live in another city, he had been the one to care of himself when he falls sick, but sometimes he wished his mother was there to help him. Of course, Kartik did, in his own special way, and that was more than enough.</p><p> </p><p>Aman also knew that Kartik had never been blessed with such a thing, loving parents to take care of you when you fall sick. That had made Kartik independent and he had started to take care of himself, trusting no one with that task. That was, of course, until Aman came along. Kartik trusted Aman so much, it made Aman feel like crying sometimes. It was like he was the only one allowed to see the most vulnerable sides of Kartik, simply because Kartik <em>wanted </em>him to. That only made Aman want to take of Kartik even more.</p><p> </p><p>"Amannnnn."</p><p> </p><p>Kartik's pained moan reached Aman's ears and he snapped back to reality, looking down on the soup he was preparing.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm almost done, okay? A few more minutes, baby." said Aman, looking back over his shoulders, his eyes landing on the body laying on the bed, under the bedsheets, before focusing back on the task in hand.</p><p> </p><p>He added some more salt and last spices and let it boil for a few more minutes, while he walked around in the kitchen to make some healthy drink.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm dying here and desperate for your cuddles and you're away making me suffer. Come back." complained Kartik, from under the bed cover, sniffing loudly and coughing for a few seconds before groaning and whining once more.</p><p> </p><p>"Amannnnn!"</p><p> </p><p>"Only a few more seconds, baby." said Aman, finishing mixing the content in the glass before taking the pan away from the heat and pouring down the soup in a bowl.</p><p> </p><p>"It's done, I'm here, I'm here."</p><p> </p><p>Aman walked away from the kitchen and made his way toward the bed where Kartik was laying. He put the glass and the bowl on the little wooden table resting next to their bed, and sat down on the side of the bed. Reaching out to take the cover off Kartik, he whispered gently.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, eat something, Kartik."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't want any food." came Kartik's voice, muffled under the bed cover, while he coughed again.</p><p> </p><p>"You have to eat something, Kartik. You haven't eaten anything since this morning. How are you supposed to recover if you don't eat? Come on, get up." answered Aman, sighing, his heart clenching a little in his chest, when Kartik's pained face appeared out of the cover, while he clenched the bed cover under his chin.</p><p> </p><p>Kartik looked like he was in horrendous pain. Well, he kind of was. Flu was indeed a terrible sickness. His face was flushed, his cheeks and the point of his nose, pink, while his eyes were shining with unshed tears, his lips thin and his face a little more pale than usual.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't want food. I want you." answered Kartik, his voice wavering, his lips forming a pout.</p><p> </p><p>"I am right here, baby." chuckled Aman, moving his hand forward to rest it against Kartik's cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"Come closer, please?" asked Kartik, moving his other hand toward Aman, and without a word, Aman took Kartik's hand in his and moved closer, positioning his body at Kartik's side, and laying down next to him.</p><p> </p><p>He rested his head against the pillow, their foreheads touching, his hand still on Kartik's cheek. He was still warm but a little less than a hour ago so Aman released a relieved sigh.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you feeling any better than last night?" asked Aman, softly, pulling away a little to stare at Kartik's flushed face.</p><p> </p><p>"I am now." answered Kartik, his strong arms circling Aman's waist, putting his head on Aman's shoulder as his lips turned into a gentle smile.</p><p> </p><p>Aman chuckled and his hand traveled down on Kartik's back, his fingers tracing circles on his black tank top. He kissed Kartik's hair and tried to get up with Kartik whined and Aman groaned.</p><p> </p><p>"You have to eat, idiot. Do you wanna be sick for a whole week?" asked Aman, glaring down at Kartik, while his boyfriend looked up at him with puppy eyes, resting his chin on Aman's chest.</p><p> </p><p>"No, but I don't want to move. Everything hurts." said Kartik, closing his eyes and laying his head on his chest, where Aman's heart was.</p><p> </p><p>"I know it does." answered Aman, swallowing, his mouth set on a hard line, his lips pressed together. Aman hated to feel helpless when Kartik was in pain, especially when he was sick because he couldn't do anything to make him feel better, he had no other options but to stay by his side. But to do that and see Kartik go through this stupid illness was making him edgy. It made him restless.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey." said Kartik, with a soft and gentle voice, bringing him back from his unpleasant thoughts. Aman looked down and saw Kartik staring at him with a kind smile.</p><p> </p><p>"I can literally hear your thoughts out loud right now. Don't worry your pretty mind about it, okay ? It's just a little cold. It will go away." said Kartik, winking at him.</p><p> </p><p>Aman smiled down at him and he caressed his hair with his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>"It won't go away if you don't take care of yourself, you know." answered Aman, frowning at Kartik, who only pouted at him.</p><p> </p><p>"That's why you're here." replied Kartik, chuckling, resting his head on Aman's chest once again, and sighing, coughing a little then groaning.</p><p> </p><p>"Uuh I feel like I am dying." moaned Kartik, in pain and sniffing, his arms tightened around Aman's waist.</p><p> </p><p>Aman frowned and hit Kartik's back with the palm of his hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Stop talking nonsense, you're not dying. Get up and have some soup. It'll give you some energy." answered Aman, trying to move Kartik's arms but Kartik only held him back tighter.</p><p> </p><p>"Nooo, five more minutes." whispered Kartik, his eyes closed and his hands clinging to Aman's shirt. Before Aman could protest, Kartik spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>"Your heart beat calms me, you know ? Can we stay like this for 5 minutes? Then I promise, I'll eat." said Kartik, moving his head and resting his chin on Aman's chest, staring at him with the purest eyes and the softest smile. How could Aman ever say no to this face?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He sighed, but not without a gentle smile forming on his lips, and he nodded silently. Kartik went back to closing his eyes and laying his head above Aman's heart while Aman's mind wandered again.</p><p> </p><p>They had been seeing each other for only a year now but Aman cares so much about Kartik in a way he had never had before. Sure, he had had crushes and unrequired feelings but <em>this, </em>this was so much more than he had ever felt. They had met a year ago and decided to move in together a few months ago, and Aman had learned so much about Kartik that only made him fell for the man even harder and faster. They had met in a limited amount of time and there were already infinite feelings and thoughts clouding Aman's heart and mind, which made him feel like he was drowning, but in a good way.</p><p> </p><p>Aman had been thinking about it for a while now, about the things he felt whenever he was with Kartik. There were <em>symptoms </em>that Aman experienced which made him think that Kartik meant so much more to him than he had expected. This wasn't a simple relationship anymore, at least it didn't feel like it to Aman, he felt <em>more. </em>Aman was never good at expressing his feelings with words but it didn't mean he didn't know what he was feeling. Aman knew what <em>this </em>was, he just didn't want to say it out loud yet. He didn't know if Kartik felt the same way even if sometimes he thinks he did. There were days Aman feels so much <em>love </em>for Kartik it made him hard to even breathe properly. As if everything doubled now that he was falling in love : every time Kartik kissed him he felt thousands of fireworks going off in his mind, every time Kartik smiled at him he felt his heart melt inside as he sees Kartik's face glow with happiness, every time Kartik stood close to him every senses in him told him to reach out, to take his hand in his and to never let go,every time Kartik spoke it sounded like music to Aman and every time there was pain in Kartik's eyes, Aman wanted to tear the sky apart and bring the stars down to make him smile. It was the littlest things and yet, they made Aman dizzy with feelings. That was how he knew. He was so far <em>gone </em>for the wonderful and kind human being that Kartik was.</p><p>It was funny really. Aman had spent his entire life running away from the love of his family and here he was, desperate to get lost in Kartik's love. He didn't need to hear the words out loud from Kartik to know that he loved him too, Aman just knew it. He <em>felt </em>it.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you thinking about me?"</p><p> </p><p>Aman blinked out of his thoughts, Kartik's voice reaching him through the fog of his mind, and he looked down.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" asked Aman, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>"I asked if you were thinking about me." said Kartik, grinning at him, a hint of amusement and satisfaction glowing in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"... Why?" asked Aman, raising one of his eyebrows at Kartik, who looked actually thrilled and not that much in pain anymore.</p><p> </p><p>"Your heart was beating <em>so </em>fast I thought it was gonna burst out of your chest." replied Kartik, giggling, as Aman blushed and fought off a smile which threatened to appear on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"I wasn't." said Aman, shaking his head and looking somewhere else, biting his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"You're lying. There is someone else except me who makes your heart beat like that? Give me his name, I- arrghh."</p><p> </p><p>Kartik started to push himself up with his hands but groaned in pain and fell on top of Aman.</p><p> </p><p>Aman laughed and stared down while Kartik looked at him with a pout.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sick and you're breaking my heart and laughing at me." said Kartik, sighing, as he drew his lower lip between his teeth, still, Aman noticed the teasing glint in his gentle eyes. He shook his head, fond and amused.</p><p> </p><p>"Turn around." replied Aman, tapping Kartik on his shoulder, but Kartik groaned even more and hugged him tighter.</p><p> </p><p>Aman smiled and rolled his eyes and pushed himself up and moved away from Kartik, ignoring his complaints and his attempts at keeping him under him. Aman pulled away from Kartik's embrace and layed down on the bed next to him, while Kartik rested on his stomach on the bed, his face turned toward Aman.</p><p> </p><p>"Does it hurt much?" asked Aman, his hand moving up, his fingers ruffling Kartik's hair.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't talk to me, you broke my heart." answered Kartik, sniffing and turning his head to look away, pouting. Aman found it adorable.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at me." said Aman, his hand coming down to yank on the tank top Kartik was wearing. Kartik only sighed but didn't look back at him. Aman bite his lips as an idea formed in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>He moved closer and lifted his head to leave a kiss on Kartik's naked shoulder. He felt Kartik freeze next to him and he grinned.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at me." said Aman, again, but he saw Kartik's head shake. Aman smiled as he pressed more lingering kisses on Kartik's shoulder, as his hand found Kartik's. He heard Kartik's breath stuttering and felt his own heart flutter in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>"Now?" asked Aman, resting his chin on Kartik's shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>This time, Kartik did turn his head to Aman's side but he had closed his eyes. He was fighting off a smile and Aman couldn't help but to stare at Kartik as if he held all the answers to his questions, which he kind of did.</p><p> </p><p>Aman let go of Kartik's hand to rest it against his cheek, his fingers slightly caressing his soft skin.</p><p> </p><p>"Now?" asked Aman, with a whisper, his lips turning into a smile as Kartik shook his head, biting his own lip.</p><p> </p><p>Aman snuggled closer, the side of his body positioning itself next to Kartik's. He brought his head closer and lifted his head to kiss his forehead. Kartik hummed and Aman's lips traveled to his temple. He pulled back and Aman's heart flipped in his chest when Kartik frowned and pouted.</p><p> </p><p>"Now ?" asked Aman, and before Kartik could answer, he lifted his head again, and this time, his lips found Kartik's nose, and he left kisses all over the side of his face, on his jaw, his cheek. And pulled away when Kartik leaned forward into his touch.</p><p> </p><p>"What about now?"</p><p> </p><p>"Give me a few more and I'll think about it." answered Kartik, raising his eyebrow and Aman chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>He went back and Kartik's arm surrounded his waist, pulling him closer. He left multiple kisses on his cheek, and Kartik laughed. The sound of his laughter resonated in Aman's ears making him smile when his lips reached Kartik's chin.</p><p> </p><p>When Aman pulled away, Kartik was already looking at him, gaze tender and fond.</p><p> </p><p>"You always find the best ways to convince me." whispered Kartik, sighing, letting his head rest between Aman's shoulder and neck.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, look at me." whispered Aman, his hand finding its way back in Kartik's hair.</p><p> </p><p>Kartik hummed and lifted his head to stare at Aman.</p><p> </p><p>Aman's other hand lifted his chin up and their eyes locked.</p><p> </p><p>"There is no one else who can make my heart beat this fast other than you."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The smile which took over Kartik's face was like the sun splitting the sky, letting his light shine on every corner of life. Kartik's smile brightened every corner of Aman's heart and he didn't ever want it to stop. </p><p> </p><p>"Really?" asked Kartik, his smile widening, his hold on Aman's waist getting stronger. </p><p> </p><p>"Mmh mmh." mumbled Aman, grinning when Kartik's shined with utter adoration, his heart beating so fast knowing that he was the cause of it. </p><p> </p><p>"Good." replied Kartik, making Aman giggle, then Kartik coughed again, hiding his head in his pillow and groaning in pain. </p><p> </p><p>"I feel like my muscles are melting. Are they melting? Tell me the truth." said Kartik, his voice only a whisper, as he looked back at Aman, his eyes half closed. </p><p> </p><p>"No, baby, they're not." reassured Aman, biting his lips, as he smiled slowly. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you making fun of me?" asked Kartik, opening one of his eyes to stare at Aman, who couldn't help but to smile wider. A loud affronted gasp left Kartik's mouth and he opened both of his eyes to glare at Aman, at least, he tried. </p><p> </p><p>"You're laughing at my pain. What kind of boyfriend are you?" </p><p> </p><p>"The one you should listen to." answered Aman, laughing, hitting Kartik on his shoulder and sitting up on the bed, moving away from Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>"Noo don't go, come back". said Kartik, lifting his arm, his hand reaching out to Aman. Aman rolled his eyes and swatted his hand away. </p><p> </p><p>"What-" </p><p> </p><p>"Come on. Get up." said Aman, sitting on the side of their bed, taking the soup bowl in his hands, and coming to sit next to Kartik, his legs crossed, waiting for him, raising his eyebrows. </p><p> </p><p>"You're getting bossy. I love it." answered Kartik, grinning wide and wiggling his eyebrows. </p><p> </p><p>Aman snorted and pulled at Kartik's arm. </p><p> </p><p>"Come on. Sit down against the headboard." </p><p> </p><p>"I don't think I can move right now." said Kartik, sighing. </p><p> </p><p>Aman bit his lips, put the bowl on their little table next to the bed, and got close to Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>He took one of Kartik's arms in his hand and pulled him up. Kartik got up, groaning and his body fell forward Aman, Kartik's head falling on his shoulder, as his arms wrapped around Aman's waist. Kartik sighed in bliss and Aman sighed in half annoyance and half happiness, his lips turning into a small smile. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you even going to try to eat something so you can get better or will keep hugging me?" asked Aman, putting his chin on the top of Kartik's head, as his arm came around Kartik's, his palm resting against his back. </p><p> </p><p>"Why do I need anything else while you're here with me?" said Kartik, snuggling closer, leaving a gentle kiss on Aman's neck, breathing him in. </p><p> </p><p>"Stop being cute. And get some food in you." replied Aman, pushing Kartik away, until his back hit the headboard of the bed. Kartik frowned but let his head slide until it rested on Aman's shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>"You love it when I am cute." answered Kartik, his arms wrapped around Aman's waist, his fingers tracing circles on his shirt. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I love y- I mean. Uh… Yeah. You're super cute." mumbled, Aman, changing his phrase mid sentence, clearing his throat as he felt his cheeks flushed warm. </p><p> </p><p>"I know." whispered Kartik, looking up at Aman, resting his chin on his shoulders, his teasing eyes boring into Aman's as his lips turned into a soft smile. Aman wondered if he knew about his cuteness or about Aman's new yet obvious and heart-warming feelings he had never witnessed before meeting Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>"I love when you're cute too." said Kartik, his eyes sparkling with joy and, Aman knew, with <em>love</em>. He bit his lips and he fought off a smile which threatened to light up his whole face and made him want to just blurt out that he was<em> in love</em>. But no. Not yet. </p><p> </p><p>"I know." answered Aman, instead, looking down at Kartik, his eyes finding his, as Kartik's smile widened. </p><p> </p><p>He didn't know if Kartik knew about the recent developments in his feelings but Aman didn't need words to know that Kartik was feeling the same way for quite a while now. It was in the littlest things. Like, in the little stares he got from Kartik for no reason, as if Kartik stares at a work of art. It made him feel <em>special</em>. Aman could tell it in the way Kartik gets more protective now, how he was always hugging him more tightly and pulling him closer every time they were outside. It was in the way Kartik's eyes shined when he stared at him and in the way he smiled softly and sweetly wherever Aman spoke. It was in the way he kissed him, gently or passionately, as if he was showing the words he couldn't yet say out loud. </p><p> </p><p>Aman swallowed and cleared his throat, looking away from Kartik's scrutinizing gaze and dopey smile. </p><p>He took the bowl back in his hand and put in on his lap. </p><p> </p><p>"What is <em>this</em>?" asked Kartik, with a gasp, eyes wide in horror, staring up at Aman with shock and confusion. </p><p> </p><p>"It's soup. It's good stuff to eat when you're sick. Mom said so." answered Aman, rolling his eyes at Kartik's dramatics. </p><p> </p><p>"Dude, it's <em>purple</em>." whispered Kartik, moving closer to the bowl Aman was holding in his hands, as if he was expecting to see something jump out of it. Aman chuckled and pushed Kartik back, gently. </p><p> </p><p>"It's just red cabbage and red onions. My mom used to make it to me when I was a kid. It did wonders. So I called her and told her that I needed the recipe and she texted it to me." answered Aman, shrugging. </p><p> </p><p>"So… You never made this before? I'm the guinea pig?" asked Kartik, his eyes widening even more as he gaped, his mouth open wide. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry. I tasted it. I made it exactly as my mom used to do. It's really good." reassured Aman, shaking his head fondly, as Kartik pouted and stared down at the soup, doubt clouding his eyes, frowning. Then, he looked up at Aman and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't want it. Don't make me eat it, please." said Kartik, looking at Aman with his soft and adorable puppy eyes he found really hard to resist. </p><p> </p><p>"No. <em>Nope</em>. Put them away, they won't work on me today. You're eating it and that's final." replied Aman, looking away from Kartik's pout and affronted gaze. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He used the spoon and gathered some soup in it and brought it in front of Kartik's pained face. </p><p> </p><p>"Come on, open wide. Say "aaah" " said Aman, holding the spoon with one hand as the other one held Kartik's chin in place. </p><p> </p><p>"Noooo-mmppfff" </p><p> </p><p>Aman put the spoon of soup in Kartik's mouth and waited for Kartik to swallow it down. It took a few seconds, but Kartik's doubtful and shocked gaze turned into amazement, his eyes wide as his lips turned into a huge smile. </p><p> </p><p>"Wait, this is actually delicious!" exclaimed Kartik, his eyes shining with wonder and excitement. </p><p> </p><p>"I told you. I followed everything mom said. It will help you feel better in a while. Trust me, okay?" said Aman, chuckling, taking another spoon of the content of the bowl, bringing it to Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>"I trust you, you know that." immediately answered Kartik, teasing replaced with seriousness and his mouth set in a hard line, his smile slipping away. </p><p> </p><p>"I know you do. I know." replied Aman, clenching Kartik's hand in his, gently yet firmly, hoping his eyes would show him the trust he had in Kartik's words. Kartik's shoulders dropped as a sigh of relief left his lips, a gentle and small smile appearing. </p><p> </p><p>"Here." said Aman, nodding at the spoon he was holding in his hand. Kartik smiled and lifted down his head, sipping the soup from the spoon, his eyes maintaining contact with Aman's. Even when Aman looked away, he felt Kartik's eyes on him. It made his heart flip in his chest and made him feel like he was the only one in Kartik's world as Kartik was the one who matters the most to him. </p><p> </p><p>It only took a few minutes, but Kartik drank all the soup without complaints, in silence, staring at him with all the softness and kindness he could. It made Aman's heart swell with warmth and <em>love</em>. It made him harder to fight the stupid smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p>"Here, drink this now." said Aman, taking the glass of turmeric milk and handing it to Kartik. Kartik took the glass in his hands and gulped down the beverage in a few seconds while Aman put the empty bowl of soup on the table. </p><p> </p><p>Kartik handed him back the empty glass and let his back fall against the headboard, his head thrown back, his eyes closed. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey." whispered, Aman, his hand moving up to rest against Kartik's cheek, his fingers softly caressing the skin beneath. Kartik tilted his head to the side, and his tired and sleepy eyes found Aman's. </p><p> </p><p>"Lie back down. I'll put the bowl and the glass in the kitchen and come back. Okay?" said Aman, smiling kindly at Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>Kartik simply nodded with a tender smile and pushed himself down to bed, grunting and taking deep breaths. Aman waited for Kartik to lay down on the bed to get up. He took the bowl and the glass in his hands and walked away, throwing a last glance at Kartik's back. </p><p> </p><p>He walked into their kitchen which was only a few feet away and not even separated by a wall. He put down the bowl and glass in the sink and washed his hands. He wiped them on a clean towel hanging on the wall and walked back to where Kartik was sleeping. </p><p> </p><p>He was sleeping on his side, his back turned to Aman. Aman lay down on the bed, on the side, his chest against Kartik's back. He let one of his arms rest around Kartik's waist and he kissed the back of his neck. Kartik leaned back, into Aman, and his hand found Aman's, which was resting against Kartik's chest. </p><p> </p><p>"When are you leaving for work?" asked Kartik, whispering. </p><p> </p><p>"What ?" asked Aman. </p><p> </p><p>"In how many minutes are you leaving for work?" repeated Kartik, a little louder. </p><p> </p><p>"I am not going to work, what are you talking about?" asked Aman, dumbfounded. </p><p> </p><p>Kartik immediately turned around, now facing Aman with wide eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"You took the morning off?" asked Kartik, gasping. </p><p> </p><p>"No… I took the whole day off." answered Aman, chuckling, when Kartik fumbled for words. </p><p> </p><p>"But why?" asked Kartik, his eyes showing the confusion he was feeling. </p><p> </p><p>"Because… You're ill and I don't want to leave you alone." simply answered Aman, because it was obvious for him. But by the expression which took over Kartik's face, it wasn't obvious for Kartik. </p><p> </p><p>"<em>Oh</em>." whispered Kartik, and Aman didn't know why but he heard a little sadness in that little word, as well as some amazement. As if Kartik never would have imagined him to stay to take care of him. As if Kartik <em>expected</em> him to leave him in this state. It pained Aman and made him terribly angry at the same time at the people who have hurted Kartik in such a way for him to think like this. </p><p> </p><p>Aman noticed how Kartik was staring at him but seemed a thousands of miles away. He brought up his hand and rested it against the back of Kartik's neck, his fingers slowly pulling at some of his hair. </p><p> </p><p>"Look at me." said Aman, and Kartik's attention snapped back to him. He looked at him with a sheepish expression and looked down, his cheeks reddening. </p><p> </p><p>"Kartik." said Aman, pulling Kartik a little bit closer, their foreheads were almost touching. </p><p> </p><p>Kartik looked up at him, his eyes questioning, biting his lips. </p><p> </p><p>"I am not leaving you." </p><p> </p><p>Aman put as much determination and firmness as he could in his voice as he said his sentence. He looked into Kartik's eyes without blinking, maintaining eye contact, trying to convey with his gaze what he was promising to himself and to Kartik : that he would never leave Kartik, not now, not ever.</p><p> </p><p>Aman didn't know much about love, being loved and loving someone. He had spent pretty much most of his life hiding away from love and kindness, be it from his family or his friends. When he had crushes on people, he had never told anyone. </p><p>He used to like to love in silence, he used to like loneliness and being alone, even if deep down he had always longed for more but he had known better. But ever since he had met Kartik, he didn't want to be silent anymore, he didn't want to hide his feelings or run away from Kartik's care, kindness and love. He wanted to get lost in these feelings. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He wanted to feel surrounded by nothing except for Kartik's presence, forgetting the cruel and heartless world around them. He wanted everything he had never wanted before meeting Kartik. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to feel what he feels whenever Kartik is around him, holding him, kissing him, touching him with the slightest contact making him shiver. He wanted to stay in Kartik's warm and loving embrace forever and never step out of it. He wanted to show the world how happy he was, how he felt free and </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself </span>
  </em>
  <span>for the very first time of his life. Kartik had taught him how to love himself and how to be brave and fight for what you want. Because nobody else was going to do it for you. Aman wanted to shout how in love he was. To the world, but mostly to Kartik. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew Kartik was strong. He was definitely one of the strongest people Aman had ever met. But he also knew that this strength and self confidence and self love didn't come without heartbreak, loneliness and pain. Kartik had told him about his childhood, but not much. From what he had heard, Kartik had been through </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much, which had given him the strength to pick up his broken pieces and put them back together and walk through it all to come out of it stronger and braver. But Aman knew that insecurities remained and sometimes you can't push them away even if you want them to. Aman knew it because he had been through it too, maybe not as much as Kartik, but he knew how it feels like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was what made him want to wrap a protection blanket around Kartik and to care for him and love him even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Aman!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aman flinched and snapped back to reality. Kartik's face was an inch away from him and his expression was worrying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" asked Aman, swallowing, trying to get back his emotions under control. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you crying? Your eyes are teary. " asked Kartik, frowning, his arms wrapping around Aman's waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh? Uh… No. No, I am fine." whispered Aman, sniffing and tightening his grip on Kartik's tank top, blinking  multiple times to get away the wetness in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure?" asked Kartik, his hands now behind Aman's back, his fingers tracing circles. It made him smile. Kartik knew how to comfort him without words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I am sure. But let's go back to what I was saying." said Aman, lifting his hand to let his fingers roam in Kartik's hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mmhh… What were you saying?" whispered Kartik, closing his eyes, smiling, as he let his forehead rest against Aman's. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Something along the lines of… I'm not leaving you." replied Aman, bumping their noses together, Kartik's nose ring touching Aman's. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh. Yes. I heard that. Tell me more." answered Kartik, his eyes sparkling and lips turning into a soft smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aman sighed and smiled back, moving his arms to wrap them around Kartik's neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You deserve so much more than I could ever give you." answered Aman, and he felt Kartik freeze next to him. He stared at Aman, his eyes open wide, shock, confusion and amazement shining through them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't have much. I don't have anything, actually. But… all that I have, all that I am, I want it to be yours. Because you deserve it. Because you're worth it." said Aman, leaving a little kiss on the place where Kartik's nose ring was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled away to see Kartik smile, softly and sadly. Kartik chuckled, and swallowed, blinking his eyes a few times but Aman saw the unshed tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't usually say stuff like this. Why are you getting so sentimental today? Something I should know?" asked Kartik, wiggling his eyebrows at Aman, only making him smile wider.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I do get emotional sometimes. Only for you, though." answered Aman, rolling his eyes when Kartik giggled and said, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love it." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he yawned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aman chuckled and moved his arms away from Kartik's neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Noo don't go."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I told you, I am not going anywhere. Just, come here." answered Aman, laying on the bed on his back, and gesturing for Kartik to lay his head on his shoulder. Which Kartik did, with a wide smile on his face, his arms wrapping around Aman's waist, as he put his head between Aman's neck and shoulder. Aman brought one of his hands up and let his fingers slide in Kartik's hair, and rested his other hand on one of Kartik's arms on his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Get some sleep, okay. I'll wake you up for lunch." said Aman, his fingers caressing Kartik's dark, soft hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mmmmhh." mumbled Kartik, sighing, and Aman felt Kartik's weight getting heavier on him as his eyelashes fluttered close against his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes of silence passed where Aman simply stared at the ceiling, a smile on his face as he kept ruffling Kartik's soft hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Aman?" whispered Kartik, half asleep and half awake but obviously still conscious to mutter Aman's name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" asked Aman, whispering back, keeping his voice low, not wanting to startle Kartik. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're all touchy touchy while I am sick. What if you fall sick too?" asked Kartik, words muffled against Aman's neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry. I'll take care of both of us if that happens." answered Aman, chuckling, leaving a kiss on top of Kartik's head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You will?" asked Kartik, his voice getting more difficult to hear as he fell slowly asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course. I'll always take care of you. I told you, didn't I?" asked Aman, his fingers tracing gentle circles on Kartik's arm which was resting on his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mmhh. In sickness and in health, that kind of stuff?" asked Kartik, unaware of how Aman's breath stuttered , how his heart missed a beat and how his smile widened, before he could do anything about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. That kind of stuff." whispered Aman, his heart beating so fast in his chest he was afraid it would alert Kartik. But Kartik didn't move, his hand only clenched Aman's shirt a little tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Me too. Mmh. You know." mumbled, Kartik, who was now almost snoring. Aman wondered if he would even remember this little conversation in a few hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know." whispered Aman, feeling lighter and brighter in so many ways as his heart swelled with warmth and </span>
  <em>
    <span>love. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was in love. With Kartik. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love </span>
  </em>
  <span>with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kartik. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The simple realization of that fact made him want to cry and smile forever at the same time. It made him feel all warm, as if everything was melting inside of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aman had never thought that he would find love while he was literally running away from it a few months ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now that he had found it, he never wanted it to let go. Ever again. Not of what he was feeling for Kartik, because of Kartik. He didn't want to let go of Kartik.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instinctively, his hold on Kartik's arm strengthened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn't even been two full years and here he was, desperately and endlessly and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hopelessly </span>
  </em>
  <span>in love with the best man and the bravest and strongest of them all. He didn't know when it had happened. He didn't know when his feelings changed or developed, he didn't know if he had always been in love and just realized it now. He didn't know. He didn't know much, except for one thing. He was in love and it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Of course, it terrified him. But he still found it beautiful. He had hated love his whole life and now, here he was, not wanting that feeling to ever stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was all thanks to Kartik. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was really wonderful how a single simple human being could change your life in the best way. He hadn't expected for Kartik to stumble in his life. And yet, he had appeared to him in the most amazing way and he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>stayed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Obviously, Aman had tried to push him away, his own fears and insecurities still laying on the surface, but he had soon found that pulling away from Kartik hurt him more than anything. For the first time in his life, he had wanted the affection and love that someone wanted to give him. And he would forever be glad that it was Kartik. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aman sighed, content and happy, and as he looked down at Kartik, his face tucked in his neck, his breath caressing Aman's neck every second, at peace and safe in his arms, Aman thought : </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no one else he would rather love than Kartik Singh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>''Even though we never </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>said it to each other</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>we knew.'' </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>- Unknown author. </em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for everyone who followed this story and left kudos and comments. I loved to hear from every single one of you.</p><p>See you soon, with another story, hopefully 👀</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading &lt;3 </p><p>Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments ! </p><p>See you :p</p></blockquote></div></div>
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